Monthly Archives: September 2012

Parents: Will your teen ‘do’ Jewish in college?

English: Rutgers Hillel

Campus Hillel: Will this be the place where your teen ‘does’ Jewish? 

What is the college campus like today?

How does it differ from when you attended?

Even more to think about are the challenges your Jewish teen will face once there.

A recent article acknowledged what most already know: “64% of  those currently enrolled in a traditional four-year institution reported a decline in religious service attendance….”

For Jewish students, this statistic is probably understated, if based on my own recent anecdotal interactions with college freshmen.

Here’s the reality you might want to think about:

1. Having a Hillel on campus is not a guarantee of  a Jewish connection.  Inclusiveness is not always the name of the game. Each Hillel takes on a different culture based on the campus where it is located. Students may be over or under-represented from a particular Jewish denomination, perhaps causing other students some discomfort.  Students I spoke to were not comfortable going to Hillel based on the above reasons.

2. Even if the denomination leanings are a match, students active in that Hillel might not hang in the same crowd as your teen, making it just as hard to participate as any other activity where like-minded teens are sought. Just because it’s “Jewish” doesn’t mean that participation is a given. Students sometimes labeled Hillel participants as people they wouldn’t ‘hang out with’.

3. Many groups compete on the college campus for your teen’s attention, some of those groups represent other faiths.  Peer pressure is stronger on campus than you’d imagine, students tend to ‘go with the flow’, especially in the early years of college. Some students attend functions sponsored by other faith groups on campus,  if the activity was perceived as ‘cool’.

4. Colleges are becoming less ‘religion-friendly’, not more. It’s a challenge for Jewish students to take time off for holiday observances, and colleges that used to have days off to accommodate  are stopping that practice in favor of being more fair to all religions. (Though more Jewish holidays occur in the fall, and students mostly have off during ‘other’ holidays, Ramadan excluded).

5. Both Hillel, by offering programs out of the typical Hillel building, and Chabad, by reaching teens through a variety of programming as well (some controversial), are trying to involve Jewish students as much as possible. The reality however, by recent studies of Jewish college students, points to the fact that students just are not ‘organization joiners’ in the traditional sense. Affiliation is just not that important to them.

One message you might take from this?

Don’t wait until your teens gets on the college campus to ‘do’ Jewish. Chances are not great that a Jewish connection will suddenly flower. What about Birthright you say? Read a future post about that one.

 

Photo credit: Wikipedia


Selling Tomorrow Today to Parents of Jewish Teens

Long-term or Short-term: Pick one

Marketing and Selling.

Terms that were not very much used in the Jewish community just a few short years ago, let alone in the field of Jewish education.

So what happened?

Well, the reality is that people are not flocking in droves to ‘join’ synagogues, or sign up/pay for Jewish education experiences.

David Bryfman, Director of the New Center for Collaborative Leadership, gave a talk about the downside of offering “free” in the Jewish marketplace.

“Free” is a great short-term sales pitch, but tends to devalue what you’re trying to ultimately sell.

And what we’re selling is hard enough.

Seth Godin writes a blog about marketing, and made some points relevant for the Jewish community in a post I read here:

“If you are selling tomorrow, be very careful not to pitch people who are only interested in buying things that are about today. It’s virtually impossible to sell financial planning or safety or the long-term impacts of the environment to a consumer or a voter who is relentlessly focused on what might be fun right now.”

What we’re selling to Jewish teens and their parents, is about the future. Yes, some of our programming is about now, but most of what we do in the way of Jewish identity-building, leadership development, critical thinking, college readiness…is about later.

So, his point here is what we must take to heart:

“Before a marketer or organization can sell something that works in the future, she must sell the market on the very notion that the future matters (bold typeface mine).  The cultural schism is deep, and it’s not clear that simple marketing techniques are going to do much to change it.”

How do we navigate through this, and market effectively to Jewish parents or teenagers?

Will scare tactics work? Perhaps. But only if the resulting long-term effect matters.

Any ideas for how to sell tomorrow today?


Parents of Teens: Do You Miss Those Parent-Teacher Conferences?

Heiwa elementary school %u5E73%u548C%u5C0F%u5B...

I just read a quick blog about how elementary school parents should prepare for Parent-Teacher conferences.

For parents of teenagers: Will you connect to your teen’s teacher this year beyond the basic back-to-school night?

My guess is no.

Unless things have changed (optimistically maybe they have), parent involvement past 6th grade is pretty much off the table.

The biggest change you’ll experience is that there won’t be ‘official’ ways to connect to the school as you’ve had in the past You know, classroom parent, home room helper, PTO representative, and candy sale coordinator….mostly non-existent.

This will not occur because you don’t want a connection.

And not because there shouldn’t be one.

It will be because schools tend to wean parents out of the picture pretty soon after elementary school.

And realistically, there is little time, fewer resources, and frankly less interest on the part of the school, parent, student to have those connections.

This doesn’t mean those formal opportunities and meetings to hear about academic and social progress are any less important.

Unfortunately, the fabric of the home/school connection is fraying just at the time when it needs to be strengthened. (If I have this all wrong, please comment).

You will need to find other ways to maintain a connection with those who work with your teenager. Why is this important?

Because whoever that is, can give you another glimpse of your child in another venue which allows you to have a check into how they’re developing.

How can you get those connections?

Some ideas are below, none of which I considered ‘helicoptering’.

Instead, they are creative ways of parenting and making connections in these busy times.

After all, your teen has just spent a considerable amount of time in a different environment.

Plus you’ve either spent time, money, or resources on the activities, and you have a right to know

  • Establish a relationship with your teen’s coach (beyond “why is he/she on the bench so much?”)
  • Connect with your teen’s camp counselors, director, after the summer is over to see how they did.
  • Send your teen to an after-school faith-based program, and connect with the staff about your teen’s progress in social and educational areas.
  • If your teen belongs to a youth group, chat with the coordinator about your teen’s social experiences.
  • After your teens attends any teen program, check in with the staff regarding the above.

Please share your comments and thoughts, I’d like to hear from you.

 Jewish Parents: Choose your teen’s activities wisely

Back-to-school basics for working parents (goerie.com)


Jewish Parents: Choose your teen’s activities wisely

English: A teen singing.

Make sure the activity gives back!

Soccer teams. Dance classes. School activities. SAT prep classes. After-school jobs. Volunteer work. AP classes.

The list can go on and on.

The school year starts with an overwhelming rush of activities.

How do you help your teen choose what to do? What takes priority? Should your teenager do volunteer work? Take a leadership role in a school club? Begin working so he/she learns responsibility and the value of a dollar? Continue with a sport that he/she excels in?

The challenge is great to select those activities that will continue to have meaning later in life. When high school is a faded memory and your teen is already immersed in college–what activities will have made an impact?

The goal needs to be more than just ‘getting into’ a good college.

Unfortunately, college counselors and admissions officers will tell you that, after reading thousands and thousands of applications, they can see through the haze of shallow but well-intentioned lists of extracurricular activities.

So, you need to maximize your teen’s time, short as it is.

The ideal goal and purpose of these activities is to give your teen something that will add to his/her character, something that will have longterm meaning.

I’m not advocating that you abdicate activities.

I do believe that you have to think carefully about what that involvement gives back.

Yes, I’m biased, I’ve written many posts about how important I think Jewish education is to your teen’s development.

I believe that in the right setting, continued Jewish education past the typical drop-off age can build character, leadership skills, critical thinking, and provide teens with a way to determine their own belief systems.

Plus, college counselors and admissions officers see it as a continued area of interest that your teen has pursued for years.

Think about it.

Putting continued Jewish education on a college application?

Totally an asset.

Photo credit: wikipedia

Please share your comments and thoughts, I’d like to hear from you.


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